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Where There Is Life, There Is Hope

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During a very dark time a friend told me, “Where there is life, there is hope.” I don’t know if he knew how profound those words were to me.  In fact, I didn’t even know at the time.  I just heard the words and applied them to my son’s situation.

At face value, the statement is so simple.  Just seven words strung together telling me that as long as my son is alive there is hope he will see the light – that he can give up his life of drugs.

Then I began to think what does this really mean to me; what is the real meaning to that statement? After a lot of deliberation, I was able to feel the true meaning of those simple words.

Life is not just about our addicted child. Where there is life, there is hope applies to the parent’s life, too. We can hope for our child to see the light and we can also hope for our own acceptance, peace and happiness. This statement applies to all of us and all of those we love.

When I look around I see life all around me. A wife, daughters, mother, brother, sister, caring relatives and friends are in every direction I turn. That’s when it dawned on me: Where there is life, there really is hope!

Yes, there is! Where there is life, there is hope.

What does that statement mean to you?

16 Responses to this article

  1. Avatar of Patty
    Patty / April 18, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    Hello! First all of this is very new to me. I am in need of assistance
    I am the mother of 3 grown boys. My youngest is 22. He has turned to drugs. We tested him and tests were posituve as expected. He hasn’t worked since February. Started dating a past and present addict. He’s definitely running with the wrong crowd. We continued to keep him. Today our garage was broke into and expensive tools stolen while my son was around. He denied it all. My husband had enough and kicked him out of house and turned off his cell phone. He told him when you bring the things back and agree to get help he could come home. I told him I loved him and was here for him always. I am having a very difficult time with this all. Do I just leave him on the street to starve. To continue drugs? My kids are my life. And yes I believe that I have been enabling him. Can you please give me your advice…. Resources for my son and my family…. I truly appreciate it. I have been reading some posts. I understand I am not in this a lone. But I’m not sure how to get through all of this
    Please help!! Thank you!!

  2. Avatar of K
    K / July 17, 2013 at 11:02 am

    When has darkness every overcome Light ?

    It might seem that way at times, and at times, watching those we love lost in darkness we can lose faith in the power of Light. Or seem to.

    Wherever they are, wherever they be – let your darkness be light for them, your love enfold them – painful as it is very often.

    Darkness does not overcome Light – and something more powerful even that Light – Love.

    No it’s not easy – ever easy; but can make a choice to believe each day and at some level hand it over – hand them over to the power of that Light – that Love.

    And if they don’t seem to make it – know they will know healing, wholesome healing we can all one day know – in that very Light.

  3. Lesley / November 24, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Well it’s my daughters 21st birthday today. I have no idea where she is, who she is with and what she is doing. I am going to sit in today in the hope she may come to see us all. Trying to always keep in the back of my head what you said Ron where there is life there is hope.

  4. Avatar of Lilly
    Lilly / October 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Just reading some of the posts have helped me realize I am not alone. I am a mother of five adult children. My 32 yr old daughter has been on the streets of Portland for many years, homeless, and using drugs. I have tried to help her many times, each time ending up badly as she does not want to change. I had to just expect the worst and hope for the best to be able to cope. My 28 yr old daughter has been using drugs for the last 10 yrs. She has 3 children, she is currently divorced and gravitates to the losers who abuse her. (I have been remarried for 8 years and helping raise my husbands son who is 14 now.) Over the years I have tried to help my adult children which has put great strain on my marriage, our finances and my mental health. I work full time. 18 months ago I brought my 28 yr old out to our town to help her recover, she had been in jail, could not see her kids, homeless, no job, no car. Her kids living with their dad or relatives. She was clean and sober for about the first 6 months and in therapy. We helped her rent the place next to us, which we later bought. With the states help she paid the rent. She had her little one with her for the first time since she had been born. She had to wait a yr to get her license back, we live out of town so I was taking her into town twice a week for the first year for classes etc. She finally got her license, a car, a job…which she really never had before. We celebrated the clean and sober lifestyle. Then she started hanging out in town with friends, started drinking even though it was a probation violation, and finally last week went back to jail on a probation violation. She was 6 weeks from being off a 2 yr probation!! She was using Meth…I am devastated! She is now waiting for sentencing. I had to move all her stuff out of our rental, because she had no interest in packing anything before she went to jail even though she had a two week notice that she was going. She did not tell me. So now once again I am here to pick up the pieces of what she has left behind because of drugs and alcohol. (This is the second time I have brought her out here to try to “rehab” her, first time she did not make it four months before I told her out to leave for using Meth.) She is in jail 300 miles from me in the county of her original felony charge, which is in the same city as her children live. She wants to stay in jail until she has no probation, which they offered 4 months, she thinks she can get 2 months. So now she is right back where she started from 18 months ago except she has a car. She had a really great job here and when she is clean and sober she is really an awesome person. Left a lot of people asking why? I kept telling her probation officer, recovery is 3 steps forward and 2 steps back..and she is worth saving and I will do whatever I can to help her. Well, now I am to the point of just trying to save myself, my marriage, and my mental health! I still cry daily thinking of her, my heart is broken, I know time will heal but I am an emotional train wreck. And I still have to go to work every day and try to do my job. I saw the dr. who gave me some meds for the short term. I know I can’t fix her, I know that I can’t enable her, and I know I have done everything for her that I can. Still, it does not make the pain any less or easier to bear. I feel relief that she is in jail so I know she is safe and not over dosing or trying to commit suicide! And the final outcome is up to her when she gets out. I love her but can not do anymore except verbally encourage her as I am financially and emotionally broken! Also, she did not come from drug or alcohol using parents. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks.

  5. Avatar of Caroline
    Caroline / December 13, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I like to turn these words around…. Where there is hope, there is life. To me in times of personal struggle…. hope comes first. Silly maybe, but I find peace in hope, and as long as we have hope in our hearts, I think the spirit can overcome anything. Hope is light, light is being free, and being free is a choice.
    I wish you hope, light and life.
    x

  6. Ron Grover / May 25, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Dear Don,

    When you read this I sincerely hope you have a couple more days clean under your belt.

    Your plea is not unheard. There are people that love you that care more than you know. Even people you have wronged want you clean. Be strong. I could recite a bunch of cliches like, go to a meeting, talk to a sponsor, seek out a friend or partner that can listen and many more things I am sure you have heard before and will hear again. My advice right now to you is to look inside and walk forward one step at a time. You know what you need to do the real problem is finding a way to do it.

    Using right now is a personal decision that is taken from you by the disease. The decision you have to make is to fight the disease. Do the thing that hurts to keep from going back to the place you can’t be. It makes me think of when I had a shoulder replaced. It hurt very bad and then I would have to go to the physical terrorists and they would make me stress and strain that terrible hurt. At times I questioned, “is it all worth it?” The immediate pain began to ease as I did the hard work. I hurt every day but I kept going because of the promise at the end. Today I feel the freedom I did not have long before the surgery. I can do what I couldn’t before. The work was worth it, each day I had to choose the work and the pain.

    You have the same promise in front of you. The promise isn’t without stress and pain but the reward is worth every minute.

    Look to those that love you. Allow them to hold you up when you are weak. Be strong.

    With you in spirit, feel free to write any time and if you need someone to call that doesn’t judge and can listen, I sent you a personal e-mail with my phone number, use it if you need too.

    Sincerely,
    Ron Grover

  7. Avatar of Don
    Don / May 24, 2011 at 1:59 am

    I only have a few days clean and I feel like everything is lost. Any words of encouragement would help! Don

  8. Patti Herndon / April 8, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Marcia,

    My heart goes out to you in the passing of your dear friend, Brent. I believe he is watching over you-Ever your best friend…
    That LIGHT – THE infinite source of hope and love guided you back from the place you were. Your found LIGHT was right with you all along. What you found you now share where ever you go. You’re reflecting that LIGHT…Right here and now, too :0) …it helps us all.

    Thank you for sharing the hope and light of your journey. Congratulations on your TWO year clean/sober anniversary! That’s Awesome!! In reading your words and thinking about your accomplishment…I can’t help but hear the song “Celebration” (by Kool and the Gang). And, I’m even gettin’ a colorful free-fall of confetti image in my mind in honor of your two years! :0) If you get the chance, look the song up on the internet. Listen to it…It will give you a big smile in your heart!

    Joining to celebrate your accomplishment and your hope – Keep on keepin’ on, Marcia!…And, keep on REFLECTING THE LIGHT;0)

    Addiction is the journey. Recovery is the destination.

  9. Avatar of Parent
    Parent / April 7, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    I love that quote and it is used often here in the North East..

    Good stuff Ron..thank you

  10. Avatar of Marcia McCarty
    Marcia McCarty / March 27, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    I am a true believer where there is life there is hope!! I am a recovering addict with 2yrs clean. I had reached the bottom of my addiction after my best friend died. I no longer wanted to live period!!!! I have used drugs for the majority of my life as a form of recreational activity…..but after Brents death I resorted 2 them as a means of to cease my life as I knew it! My main purpose in getting high wuz to die from that high! After about 2yrs of this battle with my life I turned 2 God one nite and the next morning I found my way 2 recovery. The 17th of March wuz my 2yrs clean n sober. I now have acceptence of Brents death and it wuz becuz of his death I found the Light!

  11. Patti Herndon / March 26, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    Such a hope-giving, inspiring post,Ron. On behalf of parents everywhere who are instinctively and desperately searching for sources that will increase their hope for the journey -their own, their child’s…Thank you for your encouragement.

    “Hope” is a clinical component in addiction recovery. It’s a prescriptive requirement for the addiction-challenged individual and family members/friends. It’s critical for parents, family members and friends to consistently, willingly participate in and engage interactions with their addicted loved one in a “hope-based” spirit/energy. This energy transfers to the addicted loved one. It helps them build and cultivate their own sense of hope to use as fuel for engagement of their own healthy coping mechanism onto better choices, onto a sense of well being and, ultimately, sustained recovery. For the vast majority, recovery is a process that occurs little by little. Every addicted person’s momentum into hope-charged recovery will be their own unique journey based on many factors -biological, psychological, environmental.

    Hope is the great stabilizer. It’s the bedrock on which all recovery perspectives and recovery efforts/treatment are built, shaped and maintained.

    Hope soars on our behalf when and where we cannot-Hope is our truest companion. Hope lifts us “all”, (family members, friends, and those struggling with addiction) up to a higher vantage point so we can see beyond where we are in those beyond difficult, scary, sad, frustrating moments of the journey onto the healthier more peaceful miles waiting ahead. That view is what compels us onward. Hope is the force that gets us to that perspective.

    “Where there is life there is hope” Absolutely, YES! I think that statement of fact can be enhanced, though: “Where there is life there is hope…And where there is hope there is life”.

    Addiction is the journey. Recovery is the destination.

  12. Michele / March 23, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Thank you Ron. Your blog posts capture so perfectly what it’s like to be the parent of a child in trouble with drugs and alcohol. Sometimes there is such a strong feeling of despair, especially when you feel like you just aren’t getting through to them at all. Thank you for reminding all of us that there’s always hope!

  13. Beth / March 21, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    Great insight, Ron. I am reminded of all the folks I’ve seen over the years who enter 12-step rooms, stay for awhile then relapse, and repeat the cycle over and over again. While it’s tempting to write them off as “constitutionally incapable” of staying sober, I would much rather believe the adage, “Don’t give up before the miracle occurs.” We can never know what lies in the soul of the addict, waiting for the miracle of divine intervention. I don’t want to ever stand in the way of that connection.

  14. Susan Lea / March 20, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    Thank you Ron. In a previous blog, you wrote these words. And I thought they were a rather scary; what does it mean if there is “death” instead of “life?” (The parent mind can be a little crazy at times.) These were my first thoughts.

    But recently I woke in the middle of the night. I wasn’t sure if my daughter was in danger. And then I thought of your words. I decided that it was better for me to think positive and to go back to sleep. It did me no good to lose hope when I didn’t really know with any certainty that there was anything wrong. As long as there was life there was hope.

  15. kim / March 20, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    great words of wisdom. my 20 year old son is now in jail because of his addic tion to herouin. i pray for him to get in recovery when he gets out. i always tell him its never to late to start over, and where there is life there is hope. thank you, kim

  16. Tom at Recovery Helpdesk / March 19, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    What this statement means to me is that it’s important that we never allow ourselves to become so jaded that we write people off as lost causes.

    As a treatment professional who has witnessed the recovery process hundreds of times, I can promise you that anyone can overcome addiction. Even when the professionals, family members and even the addicted person have lost all hope, recovery can and does happen –sometimes when you least expect it.

    Skip the “tough love,” get informed, keep hope alive, and take action to support change.

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