When my husband suddenly passed away in 2010 at the age of 48 I turned to the bottle in order to drown my sorrows and continue living. By Dec 12, 2011 I was drinking morning, noon and night getting drunk everyday with frequent blackouts. I did and said things that I truly regret. I was told to check myself into the Betty ford clinic however I could not afford it and had no insurance and had just lost my job. I wanted nothing more than to join my husband. Instead I was confinced to attend an AA meeing. I was welcomed at this meeting. I listened to the stories of others and read from the Big Book. I began to see the similarities between myself, those attending the meeting and Dr. Bob and Bill W. I had to take a long serious look at myself and my life. After while I realized my drinking problem did not start after losing my husband. It had started back in Middle School when I took my first drink, got drunk and blacked out. I used alcohol throughout my school years in order to fit in with my peers and feel “a part of”. Basically, I drank t get drunk for 35 years. My husband passing merly brought me to my bottom. Today I am 18 months sober, work the 12 steps of AA, attend meetings, have a sponsor and most imortantly I have a Higher Power whom I call God. Everyday is not a bed of roses, I still miss my husband and always will but I can now live life on life’s terms. Although this is the reader’s digest version of my story, I just want to share that here is hope as long as you have an open mind and willingness to work the AA program.