My son, Gabriel, was a beautiful person. He was talented, artistic, loving, and passionate. He was a really good friend to me, and not just a son -- de was a good friend to everyone.

He would sit and talk for hours to a hurting person. He always had good advice for them though he couldn't really get his own advice turned back into himself. He had self-esteem issues, and nothing I could do or say seemed to help much. I guess he just thought that I was looking with eyes of Love and not seeing the truth -- but I DID see the truth. Sure he made some stupid choices -- he tried some things that he should never have even touched. Things that led to a horrible addiction. He followed his passions, rather than his head, but he was a beautiful person.

At his funeral I realized that I wasn't the only one who saw these beautiful traits. Many of his friends told me awesome stories of how Gabriel was there for them, when they needed someone, how he would make them smile, encourage them or even pull the passion out of them by making them mad sometimes -- anything to drag them out of their apathy. A lot of young people heard his music and were inspired. His stage charisma drew life out of people, out into the open.  Gabriel saw things differently than we see them. He marched to the beat of a different drummer. One time, after Gabriel had drawn a really cute picture of my Mom and step-dad, my Mom said, "Gabriel sees people the way they WANT to be seen." And that was Gabriel.

Now... the world called Gabriel an addict, but he wasn't. He was a beautiful person, who just happened to be battling a horrible addiction. The name, "Gabriel" means messenger of God and Gabriel has a message for this world: Addicts are not the scum of the earth...they are beautiful people who NEED HELP. They may not admit that they need help, but they do. Gabriel kept telling me that he was going to make it on his own and he almost did, but then the relapse got him. I guess his tolerance was down and he took too much. I wish I had tried harder to get him into rehab.

I miss my Gabriel so much. Every day, every hour. I know Gabriel loved the Lord and I believe in the afterlife, and I totally believe that Gabriel is in a better place, and no longer tormented by addiction. I just wish he had been able to win this battle on this earth, and be with me.