Don't panic.
You can do this.
Even if you believe your teen is just “experimenting” it’s important to take action right away.
Casual drug use can quickly turn into drug abuse, dependence or addiction and can lead to accidents, legal trouble and serious health issues.
Setting tighter limits with clear consequences
Getting outside help and support if necessary
Having productive conversations with your child -- remain calm, share your concerns and listen.
Closely monitoring your child's behavior and activities
Your teen may not be happy that you’re approaching him about his drug or alcohol use. That’s to be expected. What you might not expect is to be called a snoop, a hypocrite or clueless. Think about how you will handle these accusations if they come up. It’s good to be prepared. Here are some suggested responses:
1. If Your Child Says: “You went through my stuff?! You’re a snoop!”
Try To: Defend your choice to look through your teen’s things by expressing your concern for his health and safety.
You Can Say: “I’m sorry you feel that I broke your trust. But as a parent, my job is to keep you safe and healthy, so I have to be nosey when I believe you’re doing something unsafe.”
2. If Your Child Says: “You smoke/drink! You’re such a hypocrite!”
Try To: Focus on the issue at hand — you don’t want YOUR CHILD using drugs or drinking
You Can Say: “I wish I had never started smoking because it’s so hard to stop.”
“It is illegal for people under 21 to drink because their brains are still developing and aren’t equipped yet to handle alcohol.”
If You Are In Recovery, You Can Say, “I love you too much to let you make the same mistakes that I did.”
3. If Your Child Says:“I’ve never done drugs! You’re wrong!”
Try To: Remain calm and do whatever you can to keep the conversation going.
You Can Say: “I love you way too much to let anything happen to you. I need you to tell me the truth so I can figure out how to help you. I have no intention of getting mad or punishing you.”
What exactly is an Intervention?
An intervention can be as simple as a conversation. The purpose? To approach your child directly about his drug or alcohol use.
An intervention can be successful, even if it only tackles small goals at first. Just making it clear to your teen that you no longer want him drinking or using drugs is an accomplishment. Addressing your child about his alcohol or drug use may be uncomfortable for both of you, and you may even think it’s unnecessary. But casual or experimental use can quickly turn into abuse, dependence or addiction and can lead to accidents, legal trouble and serious health issues.
That’s why it’s imperative that you intervene as soon as your instinct tells you that something is wrong.
Discovering that your child is using drugs or alcohol can be a scary experience for parents — you may feel alone, ashamed, and confused about what to do. Time To Act offers step-by-step advice and sympathetic guidance from top substance abuse experts, family therapists, scientists and fellow parents to help you understand why teens use and how to confront your child, set boundaries and seek outside help.
Visit Time To Act ›
AlcoholScreening.org is a free, scientifically-based service to help people assess their own alcohol consumption patterns and to determine if their drinking is likely to be harming their health or increasing their risk for future harm.
Visit AlcoholScreening.org ›
Our blog Intervene is a community of experts, parents and caring adults concerned about our teens’ drug and alcohol use. Our bloggers cover topics ranging from denial to warning signs to healing. You’ll find insights, inspiration, guidance and help from experts and parents who have been there.
Visit Intervene ›
CheckYourself.com is unique place for teens to think about their relationship with drugs and alcohol and to consider whether their use is turning into a problem for them. The site allows visitors to “look in the mirror” by answering quiz questions, reading stories, communicating with other teens, and sharing a “moment of truth.”
Visit Check Yourself ›
Time To Get Help is a resource for parents to gain a better understanding of teen and young adult substance abuse and addiction. You’ll find support from experts and other parents who have been there; answers to your most pressing questions; and stories and words of hope.
Visit TimeToGetHelp ›
Having a child with an alcohol or drug problem can be very difficult for families. Our Time To Get Help online community is a safe, non-judgmental place to share what you and your family are experiencing. We are parents like you and we understand what you are going through.
Visit TimeToGetHelp ›
