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know she’s using and drinking but can’t catcher

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  • #39470
    Avatar of fredamante
    fredamante
    Participant

    what can we do when her father helps her hide what’s going on. Together they have destroyed evidence and lied to every person and agency. they both say we’re harrassing her. we have split custody. when she’s with us she’s grounded and privilages are taken away. then she goes to he dad’s house and he lets her do what ever she wants. We’ve been unable to catch her with a drug test. She gets them done when she wants and won’t let us see the results unless she wants us to. she’s 15 and can choose not to allow us to see any of her medical files. We have hundreds of text messages, emails and voice mails with her self admitting these activities. we showed some to her dad and he said we didn’t know what we were talking about. next thing we knew was her e mails, textes and voice mails started getting deleted. we watched as it happened. we told her dad what was happening and he said she was right in front of him and she was not doing anything. She wants to live with him now but we cant condone this because she has been taking her autistic brother with her to do these things. not to mention trying to protect her. we finally got her to go to school and bring her grades up but her and her dad seem to think that as long as she has good grades and attendance all these other behaviors are ok. what can we do to protect her and her brother from this dangerous situation that her dad is ok with? sorry if this is kinda all over .we’re frustrated that any help we try to get her and her dad lie and get these people to feel sorry for them and we get no help. please anyone can you help or give advice. we also don’t have a lot of money to fight in court and her father does.

    #40288
    Avatar of Pernilla Burke
    Pernilla Burke
    Moderator

    Dear Fredamante- I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Very hard to hear as she is 15 and can make so many of her own choices. It’s hard to understand how a father could do the things he is doing. I suggest that you buy the book Beyond Addiction and try slowly put surely to try to do things and communicate in ways where she ultimately will choose a healthier life style. I know this sounds hard to comprehend right now but there are ways. Please read Beyond Addiction by Dr Jeff Foote. Please also call the helpline here at the partnership for Drug-Free kids 1-855-DRUGFREE.
    You are in my prayers,
    Pernilla

    #40489
    Avatar of Tom Hedrick
    Tom Hedrick
    Participant

    Fredamante…you have taken another important step by sharing your story and your love and concern for your daughter. As Pernilla has said, call the Helpline and get the book so you can learn how you can help… first yourself, then your daughter. There is hope, you can see on our Stories of Hope section where families in your shoes have seen their children come back to living life with their heads up and clear. God Bless you.
    Tom

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