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38 yr abusive son

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    Avatar of fallenangel

    First of all let me say that I am not saying this to be vindictive of my son or his ways. He is my youngest of 2 and I do love him or I would not tolerate this from him. I would not tolerate this from any friend or family member but have tolerated his aggressive ways, way too long and I need help.
    I lost my husband in 2002 and shortly thereafter sold my home in town and kept his home in the hills. My first mistake after marrying my husband was letting my son live in my home in town without paying rent because he didn’t have a job. He then never held a job fulltime again. Shortly after losing my husband, my son and his wife split, whom he loved very much, and it hurt him deeply. I then sold my home in town and with the profits purchased him a New 5th wheel trailer, Value 40,000 and a new truck, Value 42,000 and then there were a lot of little extras that had to be made. New dishes, new tool box, new this, new that and all for him being here to ” HELP”. He promised to pay me back and was ecstatic that he had a permanent home and would never be left in the cold. His words were, “that is my dream truck” “that is my dream trailer” that had to be ordered and everything that needed to furnish his home.
    We proceeded to install hook-ups so he could move his trailer onto my property to help me with my home on 2 ac. Well it’s gone to hell and I’m torn. I cry, I’ve done without for him and he continues his verbal and emotional abuse because of his drinking and demanding ways. My son has run most of his friends off because of his drinking and verbal abuse to them, he’s continually lost jobs because he drinks and then calls his employers and demands certain hours, days off and tries threatening them with attorneys or laws, health and safety or others.
    When he’s not working he only lives for his next drink. And he doesn’t just drink a beer or two, he drinks 1/2 gallon of Vodka, Whiskey or other. Yes a 1/2 gallon or more, STRAIGHT. If I say anything to him, ask him for help he always replies he’s not going to, he doesn’t have to and then his verbal foul mouth starts. Not only has he called me every name in the book but he thinks the next day or a few days later that it’s all forgotten, that I should automatically have forgiven him and moved on without any apologies and he wants to be friends again.
    He walks in my home without announcing himself, he helps himself to anything I have in fridge or cupboards and then gets mad if I don’t cook and he’s hungry. He continually texts me in the evening after I’m in bed about him being pissed, he’s mad because of his dad, he misses his dad, he hates me, ‘f’ you mom, etc, etc, and much more.
    I also transferred my car and jeep into his name a few years back because I needed to file bankruptcy and now he refuses to let me have my personal vehicles back and threatens me to do anything. He tells me if I have my daughter up, she is a felony, he’ll call the sheriffs because I have guns on the premises and I’ve asked him to leave and he curses me and tells me to make him. He then continually calls me bad names, uses me and doesn’t even pay any bills or help with food unless forced to.
    His work money is for his play, his fun and this is a kid who won’t even carry out the trash when I ask because ‘ he doesn’t have to”. Someone please help. Where should I turn to get help? How to get help? I have stuck up for myself. I’ve told him every time he drinks he’s not welcome in my home. He’s not to call or text me. I won’t cook or invite him to enjoy food when he’s drinking. I turn off my phones so I don’t gotta listen to him, but have kept a lot of the text and they are not nice.
    Can someone please help me figure how to make him grow up and accept his own life. He needs to grow up. He needs to leave home and learn to support and take care of himself like I’ve done being single raising 2 children.
    I apologize for the lengthily letter but I want everyone to understand that I love my son, that I’m not an abusive parent but that I’ve come to my wits end and need help. I feel this is on the border of not only verbal abuse but elderly abuse.

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