I have two beautiful children - one son and one daughter. They really are sweet kids. I wanted to, tried to and continue to protect my kids from any harm. As any mother does.
When my daughter Megan was 12, she faced a problem that is unimaginable to any kid or parent. Megan was sexually assaulted.
 This was an unthinkable act in our small midwestern town. In fact, Megan held the truth from her father and me at first. When we did find out, my husband and I were consumed by several emotions and we were determined to bring the offender to justice. In the end, he was brought to justice, however, that was not the end of our nightmare.
Before Megan told us about her problem, she had already begun confiding in someone - and something - else. Some kids at Megan's middle school had offered her drugs. As I stated earlier, this was a small town, and some kids knew what Megan had been through. She was told using drugs would make her feel better.
Megan had been receiving counseling as a result of the sexual offense. After almost a year of counseling, we found out she was using drugs. At this time, Megan was 13 years old. She was inhaling - or huffing as it's sometimes called - household products to get high. Talk about stamping "Dumb" on our foreheads. I had never heard of inhaling or huffing, and here my daughter was doing it on a daily basis.
As I told her counselor, it wasn't that I was ignoring her problems (bad attitude, anger, change of friends, dropping grades); I just believed, plain and simple, that my child would not use drugs. It never even crossed my mind. I often said it takes a village to raise a child, and I swear I knew every villager by name (teachers, detention officers, school counselors, church counselors, pastors, etc.) A teacher even approached me and said that she had noticed Megan had lost weight. She was wondering if possibly Megan had some chemical issues. I flatly denied that there could be.
But when I got home that night, I don't know what made me do it - curiosity, suspicion, confusion - I went to Megan's room to look for clues, signs, anything that would help me understand why she was acting so out of the ordinary. It was in her room where I found notes written by her and her friends. These notes confirmed that Megan was using drugs. The next morning, Megan, my husband and I went to a drug counselor. I thought we had gotten to the root of the problem.
The drug counselor talked to my daughter but due to a privacy law, she was unable to tell me about what drugs Megan was using. What Megan told her was legally  withheld from her father and me and held in confidence. A week later after a fight with her older brother about the issues of drug abuse and bad behavior, she went into the bathroom and swallowed a handful of pills. I rushed her to an emergency room. (The entire drive, I was screaming and shouting to her to keep her awake). The next day the drug counselor at the hospital had Megan sign some papers. That's when we were legally allowed to be informed of her huffing.
From that moment on I learned a lot more about inhaling. Megan was inhaling common household products, such as air fresheners, to get high. Inhaling is not only addicting, but it's lethal. The high can last from a few minutes up to 20 minutes. Kids just don't realize that there is a possibility that they can get brain damage, or even die, with just one use.
You could have knocked me over with a feather. We are a decent Christian family. My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. I've never even had a cigarette in my mouth. How could my teenage daughter be a huffing addict? We knew we had no choice but to take her to rehab. It will be a day that will be forever etched in my mind. It was hell; one of the hardest days of my life but in some ways maybe one of my proudest. We had to get help for our daughter or risk losing her. Needless to say when we approached her at her counselor's office about our decision, she lost it.
She called my husband and me names that would make grown men blush. She would not leave her so-called friends. My 17-year-old son was the only one that she would listen to. He and Megan were hugging each other, bawling, knowing that her life had hit rock bottom. We took her to Our Homes treatment facility that evening. We cried, had a family hug; then, I put my daughter in God's hands.
For the first two weeks we were not able to talk to her by phone or other means. I spent long hours in her room at home, cleaning, crying on her pillow and just trying to feel close to her. Thank God for my faith, friends and family. I sent cards and letters every day. Sometimes I would write, other times I would just send a "Thinking of You" card. Once, I even sent a card from the family dog. Family and friends wrote and prayed regularly. Megan needed to know that she was loved.
It was a three-month program, but our health insurance would only cover a 30-day stay. I knew I had to think with my head and not with my heart. Although I did not want her to be gone for three months and the costs were high, I was determined to save my daughter. I don't like to think about "what if" Megan didn't receive that help.
Megan was not thrilled to, say the least, that we had found a way to keep her in treatment. For the first three weeks, she was in full denial. As she said, "I just wanted to come back and start using and prove that you were the worst mother alive." But by Christmas, I received my Christmas miracle. Megan hugged me and said that she loved me and thanked me for letting her stay in treatment for the full three months
When the time came to bring her home, we were excited, but a bit nervous, too. When she left the treatment center, she even cried. She had made great strides talking about her problems and learning about the dangers of inhalants, she made new friends and she had became close to her counselors. Megan said that if she could help one person not experience what she did, it would be worth it. This was not the same girl we brought to Our Homes 90 days earlier.
Megan still faces temptations and peer pressures almost on a daily basis. As I tell my kids, being a teenager is not easy, but being a teenager's parent isn't easy either. You need to work together to pull through the tough times, and enjoy the good times together.
Megan has had some opportunities to speak about the dangers of inhalants. In doing so, she believes she can help someone else out there - someone like her. She has spoken in front of a church group. She has been interviewed by Channel One (a national-wide educational program) and has spoken in New York City in front of various members of the media (including MTV, Dateline, HBO and Teen magazine.) Megan is determined to help other kids avoid the pain associated with huffing. I am determined to help other parents do the same for their kids.
--Joan Hakeman
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