Talks through the shower curtain.
Awkward pat-downs.
Drug-sniffing dogs.

Our dear Patsy has the best intentions when it comes to parenting her two teenagers.

But she’s just a little off.



Here is a series of tips that show you how to do things better than Patsy.

• Talking to your teen while he’s showering? Not a great idea. Here are 5 tips to Get the conversation going.
• Awkward pat downs? There are better ways to find out if your child is drinking or using drugs. Here are 5 tips.
• Instead of removing all the lables from your medicine bottles, try these 5 tips to help safeguard pills and educate you teens about the dangers of Rx abuse.
• Forget the drug-sniffing dog. Here are 5 tried-and-true ways to monitor your teen.
• Don’t rely on Uncle Ron to get the point across. Here are 5 ways you can use to engage your teen in a dialogue about drinking and drugs.

1. Use blocks of time such as after dinner, before bedtime, before school or on the drive to or from school and extracurricular activities to talk about drugs and why they’re harmful.
2. Take advantage of everyday “teachable moments”. Teachable moments refer to using every day events in your life to point out things you’d like your child to know about.
3. Point out alcohol, tobacco, and drug-related situations going on in your own neighborhood. If you and your child are at the park and see a group of kids drinking or smoking, use the moment to talk about the negative effects of alcohol and tobacco
4. Use newspaper headlines or TV news stories as a conversation starter. The daily news is filled with stories that detail the consequences of alcohol and drug abuse. Talk to your child about the mother who used drugs and was arrested. Who will take care of her baby now? Did she make a good decision when she used drugs?
5. Watch TV with your kids, and ask them what they think. Do the shows and advertising make drug use look acceptable and routine? Or do they show its downside? How did that program make your child feel about drugs? Write a letter with your child to companies or TV networks about the messages they put out about drugs. Also remember that anti-drug advertising — such as that from the Partnership for a Drug-Free America — is a great kickoff to discussion.

1. Use Your Nose Your teenager comes home from a night out with friends have a real, face-to-face conversation. If your child has been drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or smoking marijuana, the smell will be on his breath, his clothing and his hair.
2. Take a Closer Look When your teenager gets back from going out with her friends, take a close look. Pay attention to her eyes (her eyes will be red and heavy lidded, with constricted pupils if she’s been smoking marijuana); her pupils will be dilated, and she may have difficulty focusing on you, if she’s been drinking. . In addition, if she has red, flushed color to the face and cheeks she may have been drinking.
3. Watch for Mood Changes How is your teen acting after a night out with friends? Is he loud and obnoxious, or laughing hysterically at nothing? Is he unusually clumsy to the point where he's stumbling into furniture and walls, tripping over his own feet and knocking things over? Is he sullen, withdrawn, and unusually tired and slack-eyed for the hour of night? Does he look queasy and stumble into the bathroom? These are all signs that he could have just been using some kind of illegal substance: alcohol, marijuana, or something else.
4. Monitor Driving and the Car If you suspect your teenager has been using illicit substances recently, see if the car has any clues to offer. Is her driving is more reckless when she's coming home after being with her friends? Is there's a new dent in the front of the car and she claims she knows nothing about it. If you're suspicious, examine the inside of the car too; Does it smell like marijuana smoke or alcohol fumes? Are there any bottles, pipes, bongs, or other drug paraphernalia rolling around on the floor or hidden in the glove box? If you find anything, challenge her on it immediately: be forthright, and tell her exactly what you've discovered and why you're concerned.
5. Keep an eye out for deceit or secretiveness Are her weekend plans starting to sound a little fishy? Is she being vague about where she's going? Can describe the movie she supposedly just saw? She says that parents will be at the parties she's going to but can't give you a phone number, and comes home acting intoxicated. She gets in way past her curfew or estimated time, and she's got a seemingly endless string of excuses to justify her behavior. When excuses fail, she'll respond to your inquiries and concern by telling you that it's none of your business. Something is wrong, and you need to figure out what she's really up to.

1. Talk to your teen and warn them that taking prescription medications without a doctor’s supervision can be just as dangerous and as potentially lethal as taking illicit drugs. For example, pain killers are made from opioids, the same substance as in heroin.
2. Keep medications hidden in your home – and out of easily accessible places like the medicine cabinet. Also, remind Parents and family members whose homes your teen visits to keep prescription medications out of reach, rather than in the medicine cabinet.
3. Ask your healthcare provider if any medications prescribed for your family have a potential for abuse.
4. Take an inventory of Rx and OTC medications in your home. Pay attention to quantities.
5. If your child needs medications during school hours, speak with school officials about policies for distributing medications to students. If possible, personally take the medications to the school nurse. Make sure unused medications are returned to you.

1. Know where your child or teen is at all times – both physically and virtually. Keep tabs on your kid's Internet use by using web browser tools and software designed to block certain sites. Make sure he/she knows you're asking out of love, not because of a lack of trust.
2. Get to know your kids’ friends – both online and off. And, while you're at it, get to know your child's friend's parents, too. Get together with the parents to discuss your children and any recent incidents related to alcohol or drugs in your community.
3. Find out how your teen plans to spend her day. Looking for something to discuss during dinner? This is a great one. "So…what're you up to tomorrow?"
4. Limit the time your child spends without adult supervision. The after-school hours of 3 to 6 are the most dangerous time for tweens or teens to be on their own. Greater peer pressure or boredom can lead to an after-school alcohol or drug use. If you or another adult you trust can't be home for your teen, find out about after-school programs she can get involved with. In addition, Limit the time your teen spends online every night, too -- and periodically check in on what he or she is looking at online.
5. Learn the technology your teen is using – and use it. Text message, email, instant message and social networking sites are all great ways to check in with your teens to find out where they are, who they’re with and what they’re up to.

1. Point out alcohol, tobacco, and drug-related situations going on in your own neighborhood. If you and your child are at the park and see a group of kids drinking or smoking, use the moment to talk about the negative effects of alcohol and tobacco.
2. Use newspaper headlines or TV news stories as a conversation starter. The daily news is filled with stories that detail the consequences of alcohol and drug abuse. Talk to your child about the mother who used drugs and was arrested. Who will take care of her baby now? Did she make a good decision when she used drugs?
3. When discussing outside events – something on TV or in pop culture – ask open-ended questions, suggests Dr. Drew, physician, board certified internist and addiction medicine specialist. “’What do you think about that?’ is a great way to start. It takes the heat off them – and then you have an opportunity to share with them your values, your ideas and educate.”
4. Share stories of people in recovery and memorial stories of those lost to drugs and alcohol. Ask your teen their thoughts and feelings after reading the stories.
5. Study our Drug Guide to learn more about the top drugs in your teens’ world. Then talk turkey with your teen. Ask him about these drugs – has he heard of them? What does she know about them? Does anyone in her school use these drugs? Any of her friends? Has she ever been offered to drink or smoke week?