How do you turn media publicity about celebrities with drug problems into teachable moments for your kids?

Only talk about the trouble and loss they have and how drugs booze etc are false friends

With all the Britneys and Lindsays out there, this question would seem a formidable foe, but understandably the challenges of child rearing are perhaps more complex than the simple lessons we might learn from the foibles of others. Perhaps it's the simple move from focusing on their actions to their outcomes.

Britney's lost her babies, Lindsay's career and reputation are in dire jeopardy... However, it seems to only really affect those who had something to lose to begin with, in reality. I mean, a little bad publicity's not going to hurt someone like Paris. She's virtually untouchable, in a sense. Not only because she's learned not to care, to some degree, but because she really has nothing to lose. I mean, no matter what happens, she will always be the Hilton heiress...and perhaps that's what's most important to her, as well as, society in general.

So, really what we're talking about is a value system; one that doesn't subserviently subscribe to what society tells us per se, but rather one that is valued at the family level.

First of all, for reasons unknown, the very fact that what's going on in these peoples lives has become an important factor in our society should express clearly that most often our own values and beliefs are all we can ever truly find to be tangible. I mean, we're never going to completely agree with what occurs within the eyes of the media.

After that, you stress the meaning behind the language. You yourself used the words "drug PROBLEMS". Get to the core of the meanings behind the words with your children and you'll soon find the grocery store tabloids having a completely new impact on them.

Thirdly, initiate a sense of priority. Growing up, I myself admired the talents of many of the Saturday Night Live alum, but later had to learn the difference between appreciating their work and admonishing some of their personal behaviors.

Perhaps I've only scratched the surface here, but I hope you find this useful.

I think you give kids and people in general too little credit. I realize that you're not saying that every teenager who reads about Brittney Spears doing coke off of some male-hooker's a$$crack in a public bathroom is going to become addicted to drugs, but at the sametime I don't think these people are influence a lot of kids in a negative, at least not in my experience. I think that it goes without saying that even a 13 year old can see that these crazy celebrities lives are miserable, and I don't think there is one 13 year old kid thinking "Wow, I wish I could grow up to be a mess like that person." I truly believe that the only thing that could be done is rather than sensationalizing or lampooning on celebrities with problems is to simply explain the fact these people are just like everyone else, they have the same problems that a multitude of non-celebrities have, and that it is simply not a good way to end up in life.

-J.

I can't say that I have used media publicity of celebrities drug problems into teachable moments for my kids, but me and my wife have been watching a movie that has persistent drug use in it and one of the kids will happen to see it and ask us about it and we will explain to them exactly what is going on and tell them why it is bad for people to use drugs of that nature.

I am an ex meth/coke addict that has done a 180 as far as these drugs are concerned, I am 100% against them and will tell anyone that will listen to me not to do them. That also goes for my children as well, but at this stage they are still very young and don't understand these things so as they get older I will bring these things to light when I notice that they are more aware of them.

First and foremost, you have to lead by example. Mine's still a baby so thank God I don't have to worry about all this crap yet. But when I do, I'll definitely use celebrities' bad behavior as teaching chances.

I don't have kids but for a while was the one my nephews turned to. Spanked them enough :))
Ya know, I think that is what's wrong with America, teachable moments. I've heard that a parent can be a friend and a parent both.
With my nephews, I found out that I could create a good impression with them and help point them in a decent direction. Of course, I took a lot of time for them. Maybe that is what kids need more today than ever, parents willing to take the time on a consistent basis to help raise their kids.
Otherwise, I guess you could look for teachable moments.

I just tell them "see you will go crazy if you do drugs and hang out with those type people also. people will talk about you behind your back, laugh at you and make fun of you. look at what happens to so called famous people, just think what could happen to you. they have resources to get out of there situations most people don't who get caught up. doing drugs is a big waste of time and energy.....I also add dont insult GOD by your behavior you are a reflection of him."

Im not a parent, but I always envisioned being very casual about it, in other words, I wouldnt sit them down with a very serious tone in my voice or anything, I think they would absorb your own values & behavior along with your beliefs that you casually discuss with them in conversation. Persnonally I was rebellious but I did take some things seriously like when they talked about cocaine or steroids or any type of "serious" drugs like that, I fealt theyre seriousness & it scared me, not of theyre wrath but of the consequences of taking these drugs. Also I hear this question a lot it seems, it sounds like people are saying the need a segway into a conversation like this with kids, I say just bring it up at an appropriate time, why do you need a reason to bring up anything with anybody, if you have something to discuss, I say just bring it up & forget about the celebrities. Besides I was rebellious & smart about SOME things when I was younger, however, I remember watching the movie "Friday" & how cool I thought they looked smoking weed, it made it very appealing, so sometimes since kids are dumb like that, it may not be the best idea to use a celebrity to support your argument since the kid may have more respect or appeal for the celeb. than the parent because theyre so young, they havent learned better yet, maybe. So even though I had the serious talks & it was from school not parents & it worked on me, I say dont be sooo serious about it, I hated when my parents were serious toward me, it fealt awkward & I just wanted to get out of there, not discuss or listen. So I think if you have a loving relationship with your kid & your a good parent who communicates with them anyways, bringing this up shouldnt be too hard for the kid or parent.

By the way Dr. Drew, I have to take this opportunity to tell you that you are an inspiration to me & you seem like a great human being. I read your book cracked, loved it & couldnt put it down & finished in a few days & I dont like reading. I prefer listening on cd. Also when I first saw the show Loveline on MTV about 15yrs ago I think, my initial reaction was omg this is it, this is truth & I knew it, it was the first time in my life that I heard what made sense to me & you have been a link in the chain to changing a life. I know what your thinking "you were 15 what truth were you looking for" but all im saying is that I believed in a lot of what you were saying already before I heard of you & once I heard someone saying it, my impression was that I couldnt believe it was on mainstream media, & still dont understand why info like that isnt more mainstream today because it is so apealing to me. As far as you changing my life, I am what you call a trauma survivor & I am truly unrecognizable on the inside & out from where I was & came from. I will wrap it up by telling you that about 5yrs ago, I turned on my radio in Cleveland, OH & hear you & Adam Corola & have been listening ever since. I have tried to call several times, but the line always says we are not taking calls at this time, but I am glad Ive had the opportunity to tell you this & its probably better that I can type it rather than speak it so that I get everything out. One thing I will say about Loveline as a fan, I liked the show better before with Corola because when he would talk he also had a lot of intelligent things to say & then you guys would dialogue about it & I used to say it was my favorite show ever on tv or radio, im not gushing thats how i fealt. However Stryker seems cool but I dont think he has the same insight to add to the show & you & adam had a great rapport it seemed. Anyway, best regards & PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZ write more books about a variety of subjects.

well that is incredible smart reads like your final book exam
what does d-r stand for----- drug resistant -- professional
or derailed radical

take them to the morgue or have them see the body or the torn up car crash..Kids learn from hard violence seen on tv..show them the truth. Shock is a good way to get eyes open. They have to step into reality sooner or later so why not sooner and show them that this CAN happen. We learn from other peoples mistakes as well as our own.

I would have to say that drug problems destroy a person no matter who they are or status in society. And no matter if your rich or poor or famous or not, drugs and alcohol don't know the difference and will make you end up the same way,,dead. Fame and fortune are only temporary,,the effects of drugs and alcohol are forever.

First and foremost you should always let you child know and understand that the people that we see and idolize on movies, TV, and in the music industry are REAL people just as they are.

Let your children know that although someone can have incredible talents that can make them famous these people also have feelings, problems, families, and the pressures of everyday life just like their friends or some of their family members may have. The difference being is that celebrities cannot keep their problems to themselves. They are famous and we like them so we are concerned about everything they do whether it be good or bad.

We let our children know that just because a person is famous and they use drugs, that does not make it cool or ok for them to do so either.

Although I hate to harp on poor Brittany, look at her performance on an awards show that air about a year ago. Whether you were a fan or not, or had been privy to the notoriety she had been causing in the tabloids, just looking at that performance (the debut of her single "Give Me More" ) made you feel embarrassment for her.

Even the reaction of some of the audience members ranged from being incredulous to downright unease. An opportunity to point out to your child how drug problems not only affect the person doing the ddrugs but also haow others will see that person. No matter what Brittany (or any celebrity with drug/alcohol problems) has accomplished in her [their] past or whatever is accomplished in the future, it is the problems with drugs/alcohol that will be foremost on ones lips when they speak of these celebrities.

Let your child know that they don't want to spend their lives working hard to achieve goals and dreams only to have a problem with drugs and alcohol to wipe it out.

Being a celebrity is a big responsibility, which may be why many turn to drugs/alcohol. Share with your children that to avoid this happening to them they must learn not try to take on too many responsibilties, and to never be afraind to tell someone if they feel things are becoming a bit much for them.

Communication is key when dealing with your children. They should never be made to feel that they cannot discuss something with a parent, or another trusted adult or family member. And any information shared with children should be age and content appropriate. If communication is encouraged any moment can be a techable moment because you can always offer insight to your children about something in this world.

It is not easy but communication in a big step in this. Explaining to them how this is affecting the actors life and how they don't see what is really happening around them except people outside of the actor's world. In order to do this, a parent needs to have good relationship with their kids.
I think Timetotalk.org is a great idea on trying to find information on how to talk to your kids.

I would emphasize on the fact that drugs do not have a preference as to whose life it can ruin once they are abused. Many people, especially youngsters, like to believe that drugs are only used by people who have been in prison, or by people who have no education, poor people or basically low life's. That is not the case and the lives of rich celebrities are just as ruined as anyone else is when drugs are the issue.

Let them watch what is going on with Britney Spears, show them the pictures in the magazines, tell the children what she did was wrong anf this will happen to them when they start doing drugs. They will only care about drugs and nothing else around them. Just keep pushing the issue in their brain to say "Just Say No". It is sooo bad for you. I hope you have a great day!

from an recovering addict i can say without a doubt be honest with your kids . if you put a button in front of a child and say "don't push" eventually the childs curious nature will win and they will push the botton just to see why not. kids are so much smarter then even back in my day because they have access to all the information avalible, and quit frankly in todays society most kids DO NOT think its cool to do dope or hang with people who do ..cleberties who idolize the use of drugs do not have a very loyal following . take the time to show the child the progrssion of the drugs by finding pictures of the cleberties before and after their so called fame took over..

It is a good example of when a lot of people are doing the wrong thing around you it's wrong to just join them.
Ask them what they think about what is happening to the celebrity. Ask them if they see kids act like that at school.

Listen to what your kids have to say about it. Let them know you count on them to try to be more responsible than that.

And, even today, it's still not quite everybody who is like that and acts like that do they?

There are still people in school they know and other places who maybe they respect and who act responsibly in ways they think matter to them. Talk about that a little occationally too.

It's important to participate with your kids a little, in how they make distinctions, even as they get older and think differently than you do. They still need you to be the parent, and they still need to rely on some of some of your experience, what you've learned in life. Even if they'd like to think they don't need to rely on what you may know anymore.

It's important to actually BE a responsible person as a parent, and many of us who have had responsible parents can remember them occationally telling us abut a time when they did something irresponsible, even dangerous, or something they regretted at the time. You laugh with your parent about it, but you also both know that maybe the same kind of mistake doesn't have to be repeated. And mistakes WILL be made, in growing and living you know. Just hopefully not too many or too dangerous.
Hopefully not a life of doing the same desparately risky or irresponsible things over and over again.

Hello. I am a single Mum of 1 child and i look after 2 other boys. They are all 16 years old. Everything they do wrong they come and tell me. I scared them from drugs as i been hurt badly from them so they see that. I think kids should see the scars from people who have been thru it all. I am drug free and healthy for alot of years but i went thru a stage. That is how i helped the boys.

When ever headlines of celebrity drug/alcohol issues come up I just stress moderation. I feel making anything taboo or ultra restricted it becomes more appealing. I really do tell my 17 year old daughter that alcohol and even drugs, used in moderation are like desert. Its a treat, once in a while nothing used in moderation will kill you. That goes for almost anything in life. Food, gambling, sex, drugs, shopping , alcohol etc. If you work hard ,pay your bills and everything is taken care of go have some fun, In moderation. This will bring out anger and hostility but its realistic. PS my daughter does not drink or use drugs. Had I preached unrealistic abstinance and been uber strict she may. I will never know for sure but it makes sense. My parents were super restrictive with sugar and as a young adult I gorged on sugar for several years after moving out on my own.

I would try to influence my kids about the dangers of substance abuse by having a honest discussion about my past problems with D&A, and where it eventually leads to later on in life. I would also make note that we all live in a sometimes unhappy life and everyone is vulnerable from celebs, to the blue collar worker, to the frustrated high school student to look for a temporary fix. As with anything, i can only get the word out and hope my son/daughter listen to my advice like i should have growing up!!!

Just look at B.S. I hate to say her name. She has money, looks, family, and she does drugs. See how messed up you can get.

question within a question???? why do you & the media refer to drug usage as drug and or alcohol abuse. #1 alcohol is a DRUG.
#2 ALCOHOL KILLED 100,000 people last year as it did the year before & the year before etc. etc. etc.
#3 According to The National Institute on Drug Abuse a little over 17,000 misguided people died from illegal drug use.
#4 PLEASE ENLIGHTEN

Anything can be turned into a teaching moment with your kids. Let it be an example of how someone who seems to have everything can feel empty inside and try to fill that void or just that drugs do make you feel really good the first couple of times but can be fatal or lead you down a path of misery. Be knowledgeable about drugs and addiction and be honest. When a child finds out you embellished or mislead they may dismiss everything you said and tend to mistrust you in the future.

bahahahahahahahahahha shut up and do something more fun, you better feel bad for me cuz my damned ipod hasnt come yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

You have to rely on good parenting really. The fact is people who do drugs do not care about the consequences. Just like watching a Truth cigarette commercial, commenting how sad and true it is and lighting up at the same time. People are going to be who they want to be and do what they want to do. You can either put the fear of God in them, put a moral twist on it, or leave them alone and hope they get past it. With that being said the answer is inconclusive.

Using others mis-fortune past making a bad decision (drugs) is a very good way to show what happens rather than say what could happen. For example if you show a photo of a man lying dead and mangled in the street with tread tracks on his back, isn't that more real, more to the point than reapeating to someone not listining; "be sure, please look both ways before you cross the road."

You must keep in mind, sometimes people react in a defiant way when they are told anything; "that won't happen to me, I see...I'll just try it." So showing such a photo can attract bad behavior.

I believe it is not our responsibility to controll the outcome, it is our responsibility to act responsibly and then let the chips fall were they may. Thats the best we can do.

No one is useless....
They can always be used as a bad example.

Underscore the commonality of the problem;
-drugs have pervaded every social strata
-drugs bring severe consequences.
-teach kids to look at long term consequences when making choices, which develops analytical thinking.
-encourage the practice of self-control, especially when in peer groups.
-leadership, instead of just doing what everyone else is doing.
-the grief of the star's family lets your kids know their actions effect the whole family, and its reputation, not just theirs.
-the emptiness of drugs (or any bad behavior) just leads to worse behavior.
and from an ancient prophet:
Can two walk together except they be agreed?
(COMMUNICATION is promoted! [Amos 3:3] )

Most teen celebrities are in the news due to NEGATIVE publicity! And even if your child is five, he/she knows these people are in trouble! (It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out!)

Discuss the problems of drug/alcohol (or other) addictions with your child, and ask them 'what makes this person right or wrong?' Also, ask, 'what would you do DIFFERENTLY than these celebrities?'

Most kids can learn from other people's mistakes, rather than by personal experience, if they are given the opportunity. The current supply of negative publicity of celebrities can be looked at as an OPPORTUNITY for your kids to 'get it right!'

I have discussed celebrities' drug/alcohol problems with my kids. The funniest thing I have ever done is take my children to New Orleans downtown where there was a drunken teenager barfing in the middle of the street. My daughter (5 years old) asked me, "Momma, what's wrong with that boy?"

"He drank too much alcohol, honey!" I responded, and then added, "if you want to drink, YOU can look and smell just like him!"

The key to raising smart children is to not baby them, and to treat them with respect. They internally know what they should or shouldn't do (if you taught them right) by the time they are five to seven years old. On the other hand, however, you can't expect a kid who's never gone to church before to act appropriately if she is drug kicking and screaming to a church when she is 15! Education of a child for moral and ethical issues should begin by her second birthday.

My husband and I have also discussed teenage pregnancy with our children as well. When our kids were as young as five we asked them why getting pregnant when you're 15 was a stupid idea. Our children had a lot more insight than you'd think. We got responses like,
"They aren't even old enough to drive, what makes them think they should have children?"
"Who's going to pay for the diapers?"
"That girl wouldn't want to help me blow my nose!"

GO DR. DREW!!! Loved your show, not that you'll read this, or that anyone is going to read thru over 100, better yet 400 results, something I don't think y!a takes into account. Not the point here thou, really I'd use it to draw a strong line between purpose in life and actions. That if you pick a purpose in life that is perverse, unfulifilling, empty, and self-driven, theirs no telling how you'll emotionally compesate for that, THAT your action would reflect your choice, so to speck, hence the drug abuse, chances are, as you know, this is deeper then just drug problems. But a person would be hard pressed really to take it to those deeper waters, sense, well, the news isn't very deep. But another point one can "point" out to the kiddos. But really, good for getting some attention to that web-site, bad at really getting people to see the falsehoods in the way they teach their kiddos, but alas, I think you know that. But good intentions, huh?