Meth destroyed me — it cost me my marriage, my relationship with my children, and my friends' and family's trust. Worst of all, it almost cost me the life of my youngest daughter.

I enjoyed a happy childhood growing up in Aurora, Colorado with two loving parents. I moved to Texas when I was 9, and then back to Colorado when I was 14. My parents did not abuse drugs, I did not live around drug dealers — I didn't even know what a joint was. This innocence, however, soon ended.

I got together with my current ex-husband in 1998, but I had known him since childhood. He was my first love, and I would have done anything for him. He was using drugs and I felt pressure to participate. When we first got married, I smoked cigarettes and weed and drank alcohol. But soon, we began using hard drugs together. We tried cocaine and speed - first snorting, and later smoking it off of tin foil, a light bulb, and even a glass pipe.

I used meth for the first time in February of 1999. I remember it like it was yesterday — the rush, the warmth coursing through my body from head to toe, a particular taste in the back of my mouth. I thought it was cool that this drug could remain in my system for few days, rather than just a few hours. It didn't take very long for me to start shooting it up on a regular basis.

In April of 1999, my 19th birthday, I found out that I was pregnant. I stopped using hard drugs right then and there. My healthy baby girl was born in December, and the first thing I wanted to do after I delivered her was a "bump." Once I did it, I was hooked again. We moved into a new place and tried to make a life for ourselves, but that dream ended when we met our first famous "dope cook" and my husband became a runner for him. Basically we took him everywhere he needed to go and in return got free drugs. We thought this was the best deal going.

We lost our place in May of 2000 because we used all the drugs we had instead of selling them to pay the rent. On top of this, I found out that I was pregnant again with our second child. We kept running dope for the cook so that we could make some money, but we were caught and my husband went to jail in September for three months and things went downhill from there.

I went into labor with my baby six weeks early, and I think it's because that night, I shot up meth. They kept her in the hospital for two weeks because she could not keep up her body weight. Looking back on it now, I could have seriously harmed my daughter — I don't know what I was thinking! I am so lucky that she is healthy now. Because of all my problems, the hospital released my daughter to my mom. I was able to get her back in January of that year, but that didn't stop me from continuing to abuse meth.

We were moving in and out of houses, staying with our parents and relatives, and using drugs the entire time. We left our children behind because we were so hooked; we thought of nothing else but ourselves and our next fix. We ran into some friends from high school, and began using drugs with them — I even went so far as to tell my friend Lauren to try meth. She was instantly hooked.

My relationship with my husband soon grew sour; we were fighting over money, and I wanted to get out of the drug business. I left him two days before his birthday. He was so upset that he told everyone we knew never to sell me drugs again. I thought I was quitting, but I ran into Lauren shortly after I stopped using and she got me to shoot up again. I knew it wasn't a good idea to go over there, but I couldn't help myself. I only shot up once - but that's all it takes.

I was using off and on for a while. I tried to stay clean, but the urges were just too strong. I had a new boyfriend and I had finally made it a year without using. I thought things were finally going well, but then my ex-husband, who became a dope cook, got out of prison. After seeing him again, I went back to using. Since I was involved with the drug again, my current boyfriend started using. I am now terrified of losing another person I love to this powerful substance. He could not admit that he had a problem and I knew that I would never stop if I was with someone who used — so I left.

Now I live in Mabank, Texas, which is battling a meth problem and has been nicknamed "Speeder Creek Lake." There are so many people here who use the drug — I even know people who have been murdered over it. I finally understood what this drug was doing to me, and I knew that I had to stop for good. So I did.

I now battle awful cravings and powerful urges, but I have been clean since November 13, 2004 — and every day is just as hard as the previous one. I was able to get clean through my own perseverance and the help of a good friend who I am currently engaged to marry. I've also been attending Alcoholics Anonymous for a couple of months, which has helped me get some solid ground to stand on for my children. My girls live with me, but they have security problems and rely on their grandparents to buy them toys to make them feel better. Now, I am trying to regain their trust by spending time with them and playing games and watching movies — I desperately want to rebuild our relationship.

Meth makes people's lives a living hell. I have done the "picking" which left sores all over my body. When I popped them, they left scars. I have had suicidal thoughts; I have been paranoid and made a complete fool of myself by becoming so obsessed with a drug that I neglected my children. No one made me shoot up meth but me — I called it my "demon of choice." I know I am addicted, now all I have to do is be more powerful than the drug - not only for myself, but for my kids.

I am not just someone you read about — I am a real person, an addicted person. I can only hope that my story is found by those who need it, and that they can learn from my mistakes and save their own lives.