Normal people do not constantly look out the window to see if the cops are there every two minutes. Normal people, do not see people sitting in their cars, when really no one is there.   Normal people do not stay up for 228 hours at a time,

Brittany, now healthy and speaking out about her story.

and wish they had money to pay their bills, wish they could get back custody of their son, and wish they could eat and sleep,. But no they are hooked on this evil thing called crystal methamphetamine.  Normal people take care of their children, and do not take them to meth labs.

I began smoking pot in the 10th grade which led to many other things.  I first used meth with I was 17 years old. If I wasn't pregnant or in rehab I was using this drug. I wish I never had. 

My early days in using meth were not as heavy as what they were right before I quit.  I still lived at home with my mom and dad, and I had to be careful.  I would go out and smoke some meth and then come home and couldn't fall asleep all night, and then sleep the next day to make up for it.  Then I would do it a couple days later.  I also had a job when I was nineteen and I didn't get off until 12:00AM and I would do it right before I went home.  I was always partying

Normal people take care of their children, and do not take them to meth labs.

and stuff --  I liked the feeling it gave me, and the sense of power; I thought I was somebody.  I'm a very outgoing person who is always on the go, and meth made me GO.  In a sense I think some of it was done out of rebellion to my parents.  I got kicked out of my house -- or really I got asked to leave if I couldn't abide by their rules, so I did.  And I got really wild, and ended up living  with whoever would let me live with them. During this time I got pregnant.
 
When I was pregnant with my first child in 2002, I was using meth and cocaine very heavily.  When I found out I was pregnant I quit.  I stayed sober up until my baby was six months old.  I decided to smoke a joint one day -- just one joint, I didn't think it would hurt.  The next day I was back to using meth again.  It triggered something within me to want to get high.  That happened in July, and by October my parents had custody of my son, and I

I moved back in with my parents who had my son, who I never wanted to see because I stayed so high. I would stay up for give to six days at a time...

had lost my job as an assistant office manager at a County Club.  I pretty much lost everything I had: my job, my apartment, my car, my son.  I went into a downward spiral.  I was using about an 8-ball a day, or about 3 1/2 grams a day.  I spent all my income tax money on it in two weeks, which was almost $3000. My boyfriend and I lived together, and we were very heavy users.  We fought all the time and ended up splitting up due to all  the drama that came along with using.  The apartment was in my name and I had no money, because I had no job, so I had to move out with no place to go.

I had to move back in with my parents who had my son, who I never wanted to see because I stayed so high.  I would stay up for five to six days at a time and then sleep for about two, and then go at it again.  I only lived with my parents for three days and then I was gone.  I stayed with whoever had dope and when they ran out I would go somewhere

Using meth and manufacturing meth are two totally different things. I never knew the world of "cooking" [till then] and I wish I didn't know about it.

else.  I was so paranoid I thought the cops were following me, I thought everybody was a cop, I thought they were everywhere.  I even thought the people I did meth with were in on getting me in trouble and stuff.  I began hanging out with people that "cooked" meth.  It was the scariest thing in my life. 

I was a monster on meth.  I didn't care about anything, except getting high.   So many people take it lightly.  But, when you are in a room with people that you know have been up for a week, and you are helping them mix chemicals you know can explode, and you are touching them, and mixing them, and heating things up that actually start fires, and yet you don't care, that is freaky.  To think that I didn't really care at the time.  I was always nervous when I was doing that, to the point of it making me sick to my stomach, but yet I still did it.   I could of been killed or in fact killed my son in the process. 

Meth ravages your body, controls your mind and perverts everything. Meth has the tightest grip on people than any other drug I have see out there.

I thought about those things, but not too in depth or I wouldn't have been doing it.  It is just a scary feeling to think, "Oh, this stuff might blow up in a minute and me and my child will be dead, or in the hospital."  Or to think, " If the cops came right now, I would never see my son again, and I will go to jail.” Using meth and manufacturing meth are two totally different things. I never knew the world of "cooking" and I wish I didn't know about it. There aren’t a whole lot of words to describe what you feel, but I think EVIL would describe it best.  I felt like I was hanging out with demons.  

After getting busted at a meth lab, I realized I needed to do something with my  life.  I luckily, did not go to jail, the detectives let me go. I still didn't quit using I just went somewhere else where they were cooking meth.
 
A few weeks later I finally quit using meth.  I just got sick off it and I had to physically remove myself from the county I live in.  Two weeks after not using meth I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.  I didn't know what to do, I didn't even have custody of my son, nor did I ever see him.  Thankfully my parents let me come back home and now I have custody of a beautiful two year old and I now have a six month old as well.
 
My meth use has affected not only me, but my whole family. I severed a lot of wonderful relationships with my family due to my constant use.  They didn't even know me anymore.  Meth can take a wonderful person and turn them into a monster.  Meth ravages your body, controls your mind, and perverts everything. Meth has the tightest grip on people than any other drug I have seen out there.  People can't "Just Quit"  using.  It's an epidemic and it is only getting worse.  The relationships with my parents and family have now been restored, and I am a completely different person.  I love my life , and I love who I am without meth.