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Daughter Stealing Pills
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I suspect my daughter (or possibly her friends) have been stealing painkillers from my medicine cabinet. (I had surgery last fall and had several bottles of pills leftover.) What’s the best way to confront her about this?
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Xochitlm | 2/12/2008 2:42 PM
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I have been talking to my children about drugs all of their life and I just found out that my 17yr old son has been using marijuana...I feel devastaded. I have an appointment to talked to a drug and alcohol counselor. I am afraid.
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mashathepotatoes | 2/6/2008 7:13 PM
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My seventeen year old daughter has everything going for her; good family, good job, looks, smarts, charm, you name it. Her experimentation with drugs and crime at 15 landed her in state custody and 6 months of lock-up, with a heavy load of requirements to follow, including drug testing, group sesssions, electronic monitoring etc. None of DYS efforts is working or helping her, as she keeps re-offending and getting re-commited. She's in for 4 months this time, and the system admits they don't have the treatment available to address her substance abuse and is only holding her on time-out for her own safety. Can you reccomend a few good self help books for her. Just general life help stuff. I'm OK, you're OK for kids?
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Super10Steve | 1/25/2008 6:04 PM
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It has been my experience that drug testing is one of the best deterants to teen drug abuse. If a parent tests their teen for drugs, then the teen will think twice before using or even begin to "experiment' with drugs. If the teen has never used drugs, when a peer asks them to try some new drug, they can simply say, "My parents test me. They will know!" -- That is a huge plus!!!
I found a great website that has tons of information about drug testing. They sell tests at a great price! The website is: www.UATests.com I highly recommend them. I am associated with a drug and alcohol program for men and we use their tests. A great product at a low price!
In our public schools there has been some reluctance to drug test. The parents will often say, "If I test my kids they will think that I don't trust them!" It is our job as parents to protect our children first, trust them second! As parents, our role is to give direction, guidance and correction. Our children and teens do not always make the best decisions. They need our help! Drug testing is one way we can help keep them safe!
STEVE
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troubledteenager | 1/24/2008 4:13 PM
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My 16 year old daughter is addicted to cocaine and alcohol. I had her in drug treatment at the age of 13. She did great for 8 months. At the age of 14 she was charged with 2 assault and batteries, possesion of a knife on school property. Shortly after, she was charged with accessory to murder. She was put in a program called drug court. She has flunked several drug and alcohol test. She has been to jail so many times. At 16 still in drug court, she ran away with a 23 year old married man with children. I had her on missing and exploited children. Once found, she was sentenced to 60 days in jail in Union, SC. Two weeks after getting out, she left again all night, came home drunk. I turned her in. Last weekend, she left again, drunk again. Out all night again. She has a court hearing coming up Monday, January 28th. I am a single mother, I am exhausted. I dont sleep well, I can't eat much, I work full time and go to work smiling like my life is so wonderful. I am falling apart. I dont know where to turn. I am so depressed and so tired of this. No matter what I say, she does not listen. She tells me how much she hates me and wishes I would die. I drive her to all her NA and AA meetings, her group, her counseling, to work, just to find out she sent her whole paycheck to the man she ran away with (who is serving time for stealing two cars). She sees a judge every Monday night, but usually only gets weekends in jail. Her father sticks up for her and tells me I shouldn't turn her in. He is no help. Does anyone have any suggestions? I am desperate for help.
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sviguy | 1/21/2008 3:26 PM
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long story short...22 yr old step daughter meth addict and shoots is out of 2 weeks jail on O.R. bond for cooking meth, the usual stipulations, go to rehab, follow after care instructions, no drugs, no booze...back to court 2/5/08...came home 1/8/08 after 3 weeks successful completion in rehab and since then I caught her huffing, she told her mom she did some coke, and told me she had a drink...broke my home rules by staying out all night without so much as a phone call...I revoke car privilage and now she is shacked up with another guy friend (last 3 are incarcerated)...I want to call prosecuting attorney and get her bond revoked and her back into jail...how do I help my stepdaughter without hurting her mom?
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matteson23 | 1/20/2008 4:10 PM
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In Reply To: Daughter Stealing Pills
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i feel the best way to do it is to talk to her. let her know you are missing them and you are giving her a chance to confess. but don't acuse her. i feel that that is the worst way to confront a person using. they feel that they have already lost your trust without really losing your trust.
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kissister9 | 1/4/2008 7:40 PM
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In Reply To: Addicted Brother/Enabling Mother
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Depending on the age, you may be able to march man act him, that is when two or more family members sign papers bascially forcing him into a facility. And there are resources out there that regardless of insurance will take him in, it will take some research on your part.
Reading your story reminds me of what I learned about what is called "detaching with love". It means that you take a stand, telling him that if he continues to use then he will no longer have a place to stay, and so on. I know, as I am a mother myself and had to deal with this same situation when I took my sister in when nobody could put up with the lies and using anymore, it is hard, one of the hardest things you and your mom will ever have to do, but DON'T DENY HIM HIS BOTTOM! Let him go homeless, let him hit that point of desparation where the only way out is to accept help, get help and start changing things. If your mom continues to deny him his bottom by allowing him to continue on, then his bottom will be death. There are three ways out of this disease unless we recover and they are - jails, institutions and death. Enabling ultimately leads to those as well. If there is anything else that I can help with just let me know, as I said in a previous comment, I counseled teens with substance abuse problems and also assisted the parents as well. Rest assured, what I have suggested and what it will take to get this boy help will be the hardest thing that you and your mom will ever have to do. There are outlets for support for you and your mom as well. I will keeep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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kissister9 | 1/4/2008 7:16 PM
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From my expierence, and what I have been taught through the program. I would recommend calling her out on it, but you must present evidence of the reasoning that you think this. Another method is to have her tested, you can buy over the counter tests at any drug store. So basically confront her, with care, in other words let her know that you know, and express your concern for her well being and assure her that you want to help her if she fesses up, if not then that is when I would present the at home test.....You will be able to tell by her reaction to the confrontation (as all mother's know their children when they are being less that truthful) Once the test comes back, if it is positive, try not to scorn, but express concern, love and that you want to help her, present her with facts of where abusing pills can lead, if you have to look up facts on the internet......or I would even be willing to tell her my story ( as I was addicted to pills at one time,). And also let her know that there are consequences for her actions, and stick to whatever you say they are going to be, let her know that you mean business. If she refuses to take the test, then there are consequences for that as well, and MOM - STICK TO THEM. In this case tough love will pay off in the end and hopefully stop this before it gets to another level. There are only four outcomes of the disease of addiction- jails, institutions, or death........or recover- THATS IT!
I used to counsel teens with substance abuse problems, so I am experienced when dealing with the youth and these issues, so if you need or want me to talk with her or if you need any more of my expierence, strength and hope........let me know!! Would love to help!
Shannon
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pepeh1 | 1/3/2008 1:00 PM
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My name is pepe and i own a rehab center here in mexico, i want to know
how can i help, and also our clinic for some one that you know that needs
help outside the United States, you know that the addiction´s are growing
all around the world, and we are willing to help in any way.
I'm also an addict with 4 years clean, and i want to became part of your
association as my clinic too.
These is our webb page www.integravida.com
Jose Del Hoyo
Director
TEl: 442 3413084
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sivram | 12/28/2007 2:14 PM
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I feel the best way to approach her would be to just be straight forward,after all you're concerned about her safety and there should'nt be any hesitation from parent to child when considering that.
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