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Daughter Stealing Pills
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I suspect my daughter (or possibly her friends) have been stealing painkillers from my medicine cabinet. (I had surgery last fall and had several bottles of pills leftover.) What’s the best way to confront her about this?
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krisfranson | 7/2/2008 9:29 AM
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These pills are very harmful for children under 18. You should hide these medications from your daughter or else she can become addicted to them. Kris Franson Addiction Recovery Colorado
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julietoby | 6/28/2008 6:44 AM
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I am so glad I found this website! I hope by reading, it can help me deal with this pain. I don't know where to start, so I'll just begin. My mother, 77 years old, is in complete denial and enabling her 15 year old grandson’s (my nephew) active drug life. This has continued even after his older brother, age 19, overdosed and died about 1 month ago and my mother found him. The mother of these children has terminal cancer and also lives in the home, however, has not done one thing to stop this. Not because of her illness, she's allowed her children to become out of control long before. The 'friends' of this 15 year old are also drug users. When I try to explain to my mother, she makes excuses by saying that she's talked to these kids and they tell her they're not involved with drugs. I'm at a complete loss. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I know the police are watching the house, they've raided it 2x while my older nephew was alive (he was dealing too). If they raid it again, she will lose the house. But, she is still in denial and allowing it to continue. How do you make someone understand, after all this, it's time for "tough love"?
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dodywallace | 6/24/2008 3:59 PM
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I am a school nurse. One of my students had a back ache and her mom gave her a muscle relaxer (mom's prescription). The student took a warm bath for her back and drowned in the tub. Parents, as well as students, don't realize the dangers of taking someone's medication. I tell all my parents to lock up ALL medications. The kids have 'robotripping', where they bring whatever medications they can get from home or grandmas, put them in a bowl and take whatever. This is so dangerous. One of my students went to a party, and couldn't get out of her car when she got home. Her mother took her to the ER and they pumped her stomach. Please, just lock up ALL medication- prescription or over-the-counter. I don't what any more of my students to die.
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srd781 | 4/18/2008 9:42 AM
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In Reply To: Need Help with 17 year old Step-Daughter
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Hi, I was once one of them children. Nothing works. No matter what you try to do or how much love you show, it isn't going to work. Well at least in my case it didn't. All I can tell you is to leave her alone, and let her work through her issues on her own. She'll grow up eventually. If you want to speed up the process then tell her on her 18th birthday that she'll be receiving two parties, one for turning 18 and the other will be her going away party, because she will be moving out. Kids nowadays aren't ready to go off on their own. Everything is expensive and I would be surprised if she would go out and get a job. If that doesn't work then nothing will.
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Harris05 | 4/7/2008 1:30 PM
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I don't know what to do, so I am hoping someone can lend some advice. A bit of background, my 17 year old stepdaughter (who my husband has had full custody of since age 3 due to her biological mom's substance abuse issues) is out of control and we are at a loss. She was always a good kid, very independent and responsible. She was an amazing student, thoughtful, loving and compassionate. Short of the fact that her school performance has remained excellent, everything else has changed. She was diagnosed with anorexia at 14 and has struggled for 3 years with that, and has an entire support team including a doctor, nutritionist and counselor. We caught her smoking marijuana about a year and a half ago. We confronted her and thought maybe it was a once time thing. 6 months later we learned otherwise. We enrolled her in an outpatient drug program for teens and found her a new counselor. She completed the program and clearly got nothing out of it. Over the past 8 months she has begun to spin out of control. She is never at home, lies constantly about anything and everything, she is smoking cigarettes, marijuana and drinking alcohol, and that is just what we know about. She has a boyfriend who is bad news (who she is sexually active with, but she refuses to go on birth control), and friends who all engage in similar behavior. We have done everything we can think of. We have grounded her, imposed consequences for her actions, imposed stricter curfews and rules, but nothing has worked. She is rude and disrespectful, she lies constantly and is in complete denial about how sick and messed up she is. She is making our lives a living hell, and our home a combat zone. We have done anything and everything that has been suggested to us by the "professionals" and nothing gets through to her. Can any one offer any advice??? Thank you.
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dawicker104 | 4/4/2008 4:13 PM
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In Reply To: daughter stealing pills
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"Parents need to take the lead against drug abuse" By Rev. Ned Wicker, http://drug-addiction-support.org I remember a conversation I had with a police detective some 35 years ago. He was telling me about what a mother had told him over the phone about her teenaged son. “Once he’s out of the house, he’s not our problem.” The detective, who served an upscale suburban community, was explaining to me that parents can be irresponsible and in his mind almost criminal in their neglect of children. Parents are the most important people in a child’s life. They set the tone for everything. If parents abuse drugs, the children are likely to abuse drugs. If husbands beat their wives, their sons will likely be wife beaters too. If parents divorce and abandon their children, those children are not likely to become model parents either. Parents are the front line in the prevention of drug abuse and there’s so much they can do to try to secure the best possible future for their children. The trouble is parents want schools to do everything. Teachers become parents, because “once he’s out of the house he’s not our problem.” What happens in the home is more important than what happens in the classroom. Parents can set the example by being informed. That begins with understanding the dangers of prescription medication. What is in your medicine cabinet? Do you know what medications are in the house, and how much of that medication you have? Are medications out of date? Take an inventory and keep track of what is in the house. If a medication runs out too quickly, that is a sign that someone might be abusing that drug. Talk to your kids and make this a family project. Teens especially will experiment with drugs. They hear about the experiences of their friends. They want to be cool and part of the crowd. If they experiment with the drugs in your house, what will happen? If you have a pain medication, what will that do? If you have a stimulant of some kind, what will that do? What are the dangers of overdose? Ask yourself, what are the dangers to my child? Take control. Be the parent, the adult. Have an open conversation with your children about drugs, especially the drugs in your house. Stay on top of it and know the inventory. Make connections with principals and teachers at the school, with your family doctor and pharmacist, and with local law enforcement officials. Be savvy. Know what is in your house, in the community and the potential negative impact it will have on your family. Drug abuse prevention starts in the home with responsible parents. Having this family discussion and having a plan about how to handle the medications in your home will be an effective preventative measure.
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rissa1234 | 3/31/2008 10:40 AM
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In Reply To: struggling with a 16 year old drug addict/alcoholic
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I have learned over the course of the last so many years, that as hard as it is- you need to let go, this vicious cycle will never end. We are in a catch 22. Do we let them go and maybe lose them forever (and maybe not) or do we keep living this nightmare only to lose in the end. If her father thinks he can do better, have him take care of her and drive her all over and walk the floors at night wondering if his daughter is dead or alive!!! Keep turning her in, it is better to know where she is! They all hate us, but really they hate themselves and the problem is they go so far down in the barrel they don't know how to get out!!! You have to be strong and take your life back. You are not to blame for any of this. Have you gone to any alanon meetings? They help, trust me. Just know one thing; no matter what you do your daughter can only help herself if she wants to. Please get help for yourself and stop enabling her by doing all the things you are doing. Let her go and let her know that you can not live like this and the choice is up to her to get help, if she doesn't she may spend the rest of her life in jail or worse! Hope this helped.
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edarin | 3/30/2008 9:27 PM
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In Reply To: Boyfriend lying about prescription drug use...
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Drug addicts always blame someone else, your boyfriend is in need of detox and rehab. Pills are very hard to get off of and that is where the mood swings and the anger come to play. Then when they come down they feel remorse and guilt only to start all over again! It doesn't matter how honest he is with you, and there is nothing to really understand, he is a drug addict and that is the plain and simple truth. If you stay with him, he will only drag you down. He must get himself help. You need to get help to, go to an alanon meeting. They are really great and there are people who are living just like you and they can help you help yourself. I lived with many drug addicts. My husband who died of a drug overdose, just took some pills and a combination of other drugs. He went to sleep and never woke up again. My brother is a reformed drug addict, and my sister is also a reformed drug addict, and as we speak my daughter is now in a treatment center. I know how horrible all of this is, but this is not a life you want to live and if your boyfriend does not want to help himself there is really not much you can do except leave and not feel guilty. Yelling does not work, crying does not work, they are addicts and they cannot control the need to get high. What does his mother say? You are living with her, does she not see this as a problem? Living with a drug addict is a horrible thing. You at times feel you yourself are going crazy. I would really suggest that you get to a meeting or seek thearapy for yourself, but I would also suggest that you maybe think of going back to your family and give yourself some time too heal. I hope I helped just a little bit.
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edarin | 3/30/2008 9:04 PM
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I have a 20 year old daughter who is right now in a treatment program, the problem is she can't come home and she has no insurance. The state won't help because technically they say the parents are responsible for her until 21, but she was never here and we did not support her and at the age of 18 she was dropped from our medical insurance because she did not go to school. Her father died from a drug overdose and I can not afford treatment ( a sad fact). I don't know anyone except the extremely wealthy who can! She knows the minute she leaves rehab and she has to come back here she will take off, she is very scared. She feels safe right now. Is there anyone who can suggest anything or any treatment programs that are affordable? Because there is no medical insurance involved, it is a problem. She was in really bad shape before she left and still is not right. She was abusing anything she could get her hands on, heroine was the end result. I wrote a letter to MSNBC and my state reps. about the issues of lack of medical coverage for the age of 18-21. I just want to help my daughter and not end up burying her alongside her father. Any suggestions?
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brian100shan | 3/30/2008 7:28 PM
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In Reply To: heroin addicted son
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It is possible that you may be able to cut a deal with the court. The deal would state that if he enters rehab and completes the program, the charges may be dropped. Rehab will only work if he wants it too.
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