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Daughter Stealing Pills
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I suspect my daughter (or possibly her friends) have been stealing painkillers from my medicine cabinet. (I had surgery last fall and had several bottles of pills leftover.) What’s the best way to confront her about this?
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savehernow | 2/17/2008 12:02 PM
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My daughter became an alcoholic at 14, was raped as a virgin at 15 by an employer, and began using drugs at 16 which included anything she could get her hands on. We took her to a 90 day rehab and she was asked to leave after 1 week. She became so addicted to Meth and Pot that she began steeling and selling everything she could from her Dad and me. We have 5 daughters and have been married for 32 years. She was the only daughter still at home. Dad kicked her out of the house because she became very violent. I didn't want her on the streets, so after she lived on the couch of a friend for a month I rented her an apartment. I bought her new furniture, groceries, and a phone. She would finish high school, and she got a job at a department store. She had been in jail by this time twice for assault during her drunken rages, once for assault on an officer. She was evicted from the apartment after 3 weeks and lost her job. How stupid was I, she just had a great place to party with her undesirable friends. Again I rented a much lower end place to keep her off the street. I know it was probably wrong, but it let me sleep knowing she had shelter and food. Selfish of me yes, but I felt like I was loosing my mind. Of course tension at home was terrible and her older sisters were so upset. More jail, another assault on an officer, many visits to the ER for alcohol black outs, ate a bottle of aspirin and had to be flown to a medical facility for treatment and evaluation. Finally, she got her high school diploma at 20, held a good job for several years, got married and even though she was taking prescription drugs for bipolar disorder (had been treated by 2 psychiatrists and several councilors) she seemed on tract. Then she had a miscarriage and was prescribed vicodin and her depression came back really bad. She told me 2 years later she had been addicted to oxycontin, morphine, and vicodin and needed help. I see her everyday and had no clue. For the last 9 months she has been in a substance treatment program and we travel 3 hours to her doctor for appointments and counseling. Now I just found out for the last month she has been abusing the prescription medications, buying morphine, meth and her husband is doing it with her. They decided to divorce last night as he found her cheating on him with a drug dealer. She is a beautiful girl, was a straight A student, is very intelligent, lives in a very nice home that we own and they rent, has a good job and is going to school. She has lots of family support and LOVE. I feel like I'm living someone else's nightmare but in reality it is ours...our family. Please help with any advice.
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free harmony | 3/19/2010 4:51 PM
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In Reply To: RE: daughter stealing pills
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Sometimes you got to let her go. I know that sounds so mean, but truth is she knows you going to always pick her up when she falls. Take it from me I am 26 years old I use to get high and i kept doing it because my mother was always around to pick me up when i fail. I ended up in trouble with the law and they threaten me to get help or go to a recovery place so I did but it wasn't for myself, it was so i wouldn't go to prison. I fought for dam near 4 months straight in there. Didn't want to do what they tell me to do. Until one day I said enough is enough and fell to my knees and prayed like never before and when I got up it was fresh start now i been clean for about 4 years. Now what I am trying to say is you can't stop anyone including your love ones unless they are tired themselves. Life deals you a hand of cards and all you can do is play them, now you could do one or two things you can cheat or make the best out of the cards in your hand. Just keep your head up and keep PRAYING. PRAYER will change all things........ Don't know you but i am PRAYING for you.
Tameka Hyde
615-853-6337
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hotmama84 | 3/13/2010 9:24 PM
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In Reply To: daughter stealing pills
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i went through this same thing myself stealing my parents pills, confront her i sure your a wonderful mother you'll know if she's lieing to you... watch for signs itching. hyperness/sleepyness they effect everyone different, if you see these's signs and you know its her please get her help it will only get worse take it from someone who know's.
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deeedwards | 1/30/2010 9:59 PM
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In Reply To: My husband has a problem and I see no end.
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Your story sounds exactly like my life! My husband has abused vicodin and other pain pills for the majority of our 5 year marriage. We had our daughter 2 years ago and then he decided to quit his job when she was one! I was a stay at home mom and we had no other income besides his. He admits he would have never quit if he had not been on pills. Anyway, we had to sell our home, move in with my parents and we have now been here for a year. I made him leave 2 months ago because I thought he had quit pills and I found text messages telling me different. I am so confused and don't know what to believe anymore. Of course now that he is gone he tells me he hasn't done anything since and loves us, etc.... I would love to email you and hear more of your story. This is a very hard thing to get through, especially when a child is in the middle! My email address is deena_edwards@yahoo.com. Please contact me so we can talk.
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BNewmanII | 12/19/2009 5:49 AM
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as a chemical dependency counselor who has worked with literally thousands of people and getting them help, the best thing to do is sit her down in a non confrontional manner and ask her, and if you suspect she is using adn she denys any wrond doing or get defensive, its a tale tale sign she is using and you should ask her to take a drug test that can be purchased at Wal Greens or any drug store. If she is not doing drugs she will not have a problem with it.
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candle523 | 11/28/2009 11:57 AM
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4 years ago my husband was addicted to pill and he kicked the habit at home when we found out I was pregnant. He did good for a while and he slowly started taking pills here and there again until he went on another binge that cost us a lot of money. He stopped again he started again. over and over. He recently lost his job causing him to go on another binge that cost us around $1,000 in less tan 2 months time. He is working on it again with suboxone, however just on Thanksgiving bought a couple of pills and tells me that he had been doing good and wanted to have a good holiday weekend and it isn't a big deal. I had to move on otherwise ruin the rest of our Holiday. To me it is a big deal. If he is still addicted where he has to be taking suboxone then how is it okay to buy a couple of pills. He doesn't understand what he has done to me and to our relationship. We are at the beginning of foreclosure and this isn't a bright enough light for him. I try to understand and I'm trying to stay with him in hopes of getting our relationship back but I see no end in sight. I see this repeating itself over and over as it has done for the past 4 years. If he really thinks it is okay to buy pills just because it is a holiday and he wants to have a good time. This shows me he only thinks about himself and not the effects this has had on me and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm in love with my husband anymore. Does anyone have any advice that might help me that could possibly get me through a little bit further in my fight?
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mortonrosenbaum | 11/23/2009 5:56 PM
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Hi everyone,
I work at an addiction treatment center in New York that works a great deal with parents of teens and adult kids who are using drugs and refuse to enter treatment. We work with a treatment approach called CRAFT that has an 80% success rates in research studies and is a gentler, non-confrontational alternative to Interventions. For families who are worried and want to help their teen or adult child, but aren't at a point where it's appropriate to stage an intervention, this is a good, less dramatic step that has a good track record in the research.
I hope it's appropriate to share this here: Since most people have never heard of CRAFT, we're holding two introductory seminars on how it works and how parents can practice it at home: one in Westchester on Wednesday, Dec. 2 and one in Manhattan on Monday, Dec. 7. If you're interested in more info and want to consider attending, you can e-mail me at mrosenbaum@motivationandchange.com.
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Carmela614 | 11/15/2009 8:20 PM
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Please confront her. My son is in rehab for painkillers.. It is very common with the teens, and if you don't she will continue. Absolutely flush them in front of her, or lock them up. Do not allow her to have them or give to her friends
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jlfralic | 5/6/2009 6:29 AM
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I see you posted this last year, but how are things? I am in the exact same situation. My sister allows my niece to live in her house, she is 19, like a crash pad. She has no responsibilities. It pains me to watch this family fall apart. My sister is miserable and in complete denial. She is afraid of losing my niece.
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jlfralic | 5/6/2009 6:01 AM
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I am fairly certain that my 19 year old niece is using. She has been to rehab once, but I have overheard conversations and viewed facebook posts indicating she is involved with K and Heroin. She lives at home and has no job or responsibilities. How can I approach my sister with this information? My sister is afraid to confront her or hold her accountable. I cannot stand to watch my niece in this situation, and it is so hard to watch my sister let my niece take advantage of her.
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